


That's What It Means

by sterlynsilverrose



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8367283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sterlynsilverrose/pseuds/sterlynsilverrose
Summary: Takes place some time after the events of Resident Evil 6. The survivors of the events get together at a bar and have a few drinks, however Chris is feeling anything but okay.  Claire is there to take care of him, but its Chris that needs to get himself up off the floor and move on. This is filled with angst and a lot of introspection on Chris's part.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Croik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croik/gifts).



“Liberty? Really?” Claire huffed, and shook her head she and her brother stood in front of the small store front. 

Chris Redfield shrugged, “Leon’s idea.” 

“Of course it was.” Claire sighed, a small smile lighting up her features at the mention of her old friend’s name. 

Chris stood a few feet behind her, eyes roaming over the white neon sign above them. The sign looked right out of one of those B horror movies, the light sign blinking off and on with the same electrical hum, audible only if you stopped and really listened. The walk to get there had taken about fifteen minutes, but with the humidity it had felt like forty five. 

Claire placed a hand on his forearm squeezing reassuringly, a small frown on her lips. “You know, we can go home, watch a movie, and order pizza if you want, right? The others would understand.” 

Chris watched her for a moment, before he reached out ruffling her hair with a snort, “I’m supposed to be the one that worries. Going out with people we know and like isn’t the worst thing I could be doing.” 

Claire narrowed her eyes and worried her lower lip with her teeth, after a second stretched her arms over her head, turning away from her scrutiny of her brother when she deemed everyhing okay, “Hmm. We don’t have to close down the bar or something. We’ll just take it slow.” 

“Since when did you become Mom?” Chris joked as he reached out grabbing the brass knob, turning it as Claire threw him a dirty glance. With one yank, he pulled open the door and a small bell jingled on the other side of the door. 

It always felt like they all used to same bells to signal someone’s arrival. Maybe he appreciated the idea of a nice sitcom right now. Anything other than the reality they inhabited. 

If only. 

“Chris!” Claire’s hands were on his back shoving him over the threshold, his boots thumping over the hollow spot separated the concrete outside and the concrete within, “Let’s go inside! It’s gross out here. My pants are starting to stick in all the wrong places.” 

“Didn’t need to know that.” Complained Chris as he allowed his little sister to nudge him forward. Had he really wanted to stop her, he could have planted his weight and buckled down, but the last thing he needed was another lecture, or worse, to be worried about by his baby sister. 

Even as the years passed by, everyone still worried anyway. 

The door shut behind them as soon as they cleared the door. The entryway smelled of strong bleach and cigarette smoke threatening to make Chris gag and cover his nose with his jacket. Claire continued steer him with a thoughtful push down the hallway and towards the stairs that led down into the bar. 

Even though the outside and entryway looked less than stellar, the interior was well kept. The walls were painted black along with the floors. Few people sat at small tables on the outskirts of a dance floor. There were lights in the corners of the rooms, so visibility wasn’t a problem. There were also plenty of doors and a large side window that led out into the grungy alley. If there was a problem there were plenty of options for how to handle it. 

There were very few people seated the bar itself, and the ones that were there were familiar faces. Jill near the edge, long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, next to her was Helena both with drinks in their hands chatting amiably. Sherry sat between Leon, who was politely looking into his glass, studiously ignoring the curious looks Jake was sending his way. 

“Last chance.” Claire warned as she shoved Chris the rest of the way forward. Chris took a step and pursed his lips as he took a small step forward, Jill must have felt him staring because she finally turned and looked at him. 

“I think we’ve been spotted,” Chris joked with a small tired smile as he lifted a hand in greeting as he skirted the dance floor to join them. Claire followed behind with a grin, peeking around her brother and waving towards Leon. 

“Chris! We weren’t sure you were going to make it.” Jill slipped off the stool, drink in hand. It had been a long road to recovery for his former partner, but she was looking good. The color was back in her cheeks and a wry smile on her lips let him know she was doing better than when she had first been cleared to go back onto active duty. 

Part of Chris knew that it was because of her skill, the other part of him also knew that it was because literally the B.S.A.A really couldn’t afford to be picky with who they had left. After all, there were very few people still alive that were in the organization. 

The thought sent a rock into the pit of his stomach. 

Jill moved over and threw her arms around his shoulders in a tight hug. Her lips pressed to his cheek leaving a smudge of lipstick all over his stubble, “It’s good to see you! I am so glad you came!” 

Her voice was a smidge higher and animated than he was accustomed to hearing. “How much have you had to drink already?” Pressing his hand on her shoulder, Chris nudged her back and Jill refused to budge. 

“She hasn’t had much yet. But, she has had enough to get _slight_ sentimental.” Helena called towards Chris as she held up her half full glass to show him. 

“It’s literally been **months** since I’ve last seen him. How would you feel if Leon were to disappear for months, Helena?” Jill sent a rather pointed look at the other woman. Helena sat her drink down and adjusted herself on the barstool with a grim smile, “He would have a lot to pay for when he got back.” 

Leon finally looked up from his drink, and shook his head leaning enough he could point at Helena without Sherry in the way, “I can hear you. I’m not deaf.” 

“Good.Then it won’t happen,” Helena smirked as she turned back to nurse her drink, eyes on the bartender as he served two people who had stepped up to the bar. 

Jill stepped around Chris and opened her arms, “Come here Claire, it’s three years at _least_! You’re looking really good.” 

“Thanks, you too Jill.” Claire smiled stepping into her hug. 

Leaving Jill and Claire to catch up, Chris turned and moved to take an empty seat next to Leon. The DSO agent, glad to have someone to focus on, turned himself more to Chris’s side, holding out his hand. Chris clasped it and both shook and Leon pulled away motioning to the bar, “What’s your poison?” 

“Water.” Chris responded automatically with a small roll of his shoulders as he turned to face the other. 

“You sure?” Leon asked, eyes narrowed skeptically in on him. Pressing his side to the bar, Chris nodded, “I’m sure.” 

“No one said exactly what type of part this was. So alcohol is not a must,” Sherry leaned forward over the bar to give Chris a small smile, which he returned. She was always sweet, it was weird that this had been the girl that he and Claire had spoke about after they had escaped Raccoon City. 

“You know, for any kind of party this is pretty dead,” Jake took the small shot glass in front of him, knocking it back. He placed the glass back down on the counter with a small clink of glass on wood. 

“Jake.” Sherry turned to him shooting him a half glare voice an exaggerated whisper.

Jake shrugged his shoulders and gave her a small grin. “What?” 

Leon spared a glance in their direction over his shoulder, and Chris let his eyes wander over Jake as he stared at Sherry feigning innocence. Even though Jake was young, there was no mistaking his resembles to Albert Wesker. Their meetings had never been seen as normal. 

But, it wasn’t like he hated the kid. After all, he was just related to Wesker, he hadn’t done anything to warrant the reaction or treatment at all from Chris or anyone else that had the misfortune to deal with Albert Wesker. 

“I guess what I meant to say is that it just feels kind of like a pity party. You went through hell and survived. Congratulations have some booze and try to forget you lived and others didn’t. Or something like that.” Jake muttered as he pushed the shot glass over towards the bartender. 

The young man across the bar, raised both his eyebrows and stared at the small group for a moment, before turning and grabbing a bottle and refilling the glass. The bartender turned to Chris, “What would you like?” 

“Just a water.” Chris answered as Jake doubled over with a pained grunt. Sherry cleared her throat and shifted her back to Jake. The young man looked absolutely murderous as he glared at her back and then at Leon over her shoulder causing the older man to chuckle and shake his head. 

“Here we all are.” Helena called out from behind them as Claire and Jill moved back to the bar. 

“Yeah, this is the first time we’ve all been in the same place, isn’t it?” Sherry jumped up and reached out hugging Claire tightly as the other came to check on her. Both women shared a long hug, and Jake turned to leer at them with a small smirk on his lips. 

“Don’t even think about it.” Leon warned as Jake’s mouth opened, and then shut. 

“What? They’re both cute together.” Jake argued as his shoulders slumped and he noticed Chris staring, a frown on his lips. “What?” 

Chris raised both hands in front of him half placating the other as he shrugged, “Nothing.” 

“Oof! Hey.” Jake growled as Sherry elbowed him in the side one more time. He winced and curled up to the bar, all but pouting as Claire took a seat next to Jill and Helena. 

“Be nice.” Sherry chastized softly, her hand reaching down to brush over the one that Jake had clamped onto his lower side where she had elbowed him. His eyes softened for a moment, as he turned away and muttered, “Whatever.” 

Chris shook his head at the display and turned back to Leon, “So, now that things have calmed down a little bit, what do you have planned?” 

“Oh. I decided that while things are relatively peaceful, I should probably try to get a real vacation in. I haven’t really had one since I joined RPD.” Leon grinned as he quietly drank whatever clear liquid was in his glass. 

He didn’t really seem the type to drink straight, so it was probably mixed with something, but then Chris had never really been a connoisseur of alcohol. He had just taken whatever had been there, vodka having been most plentiful in the bars as he had traveled around Edonia. 

“It’ll be nice to go somewhere that has nothing to do with BOW’s and people trying to destroy the world.” Leon smiled wistfully as his eyes went to the ceiling. 

Chris shut his eyes leaning forward onto the bar with his elbows, “It sounds nice. I wish I could take a real vacation...” 

“Just make sure you are careful, Leon. Airports are really tricky these days.” Claire called over to him as she leaned forward on the bar to take place in the conversation, Jill leaned back and waved at him, “Oh! Boats aren’t safe either. Those creatures are terrible.” 

Leon nodded to the girls and took a small sip once more as he shook his head, “I’ll keep that in mind. The only trouble I want is long lines and overpriced souvenirs.” 

“Well while Leon is on vacation, I’m definitely going to continue working with the DSO. It’s easier now since I have a tag along.” Sherry smiled as she leaned over knocking her shoulder gently against Jake’s. Even with as prickly as he seemed, Jake relaxed and nudged her back. “It’s not like you don’t pay me to stay and help.” 

“Oh, I’m sure she pays you, and that even if she didn’t you would figure out some way to stick around. I’m sure there is mutual benefit in your arrangement,” Jill grins slyly from over the rim of her cup at the young couple. 

“I’m not confirming or denying that.” Jake grinned as he turned to look at Sherry. The poor blonde turned red so fast that it may have as well been instant. Leon narrowed his eyes at the younger DSO agent and Jake, “I’m not sure how to feel about that.” 

Claire nodded in agreement her lips curled into a soft frown, “I second that sentiment. You’re too young to have such arrangements. You aren’t allowed.” 

“Really? We are having this conversation _here_ in front of _people_?” Sherry’s voice was just a little shriller than normal and held a note of desperation. Helena hid a small smile as she watched everyone quietly from the end of the bar. Everyone was so energetic despite everything they had been through. 

It was refreshing in a way. 

Her eyes roamed and Helena caught Chris’s observing the others as well. He nodded to her and gave her that same tired, sad, smile that he seemed to wear every time she saw him. She returned a small smile of her own and a nod of her head to him, holding up her glass to toast to him. 

Turning his attention away from Helena and her probing eyes, Chris called out, “You should be careful, Jake. Sherry has friends and family in high places, and they are all _very_ protective.” 

“Wonderful. I gotta deal with all of you now.” Mutters Jake, though there is no real disgust in his voice, and the sarcastic words really don’t hold a bite to them. He actually seems happy to belong somewhere, which says volumes of the type of person he was. He could never be like his dad. 

Chris sat up taller, his eyes on the others as he grabbed his glass and held it up. “I’d like to propose a toast. To the survivors.” 

“To the survivors.” Everyone echoed as they all took drinks, and the idle chatter filled the air. Jill turned and looked over towards her old partner as he watched the others. He looked old and tired, much less like the Chris she used to run around and work with. The years were starting to take a toll. 

Shaking her head she sighed and shifted back to her own thoughts and plans. Maybe it was a good thing that Claire was there to take care of him after all. But even Claire being around wasn’t a permanent thing, she had her own work to do with Terra Save. 

Biting her lower lip, Jill brushed her fingers around the rim of her glass, “There are just some things that take more time to cope with than others.” 

“Did you say something Jill?” Helena leaned forward towards the older woman. 

“It was nothing. I was just wondering what your plans are going to be when Leon is out of town?” Helena smiled and leaned in close to talk with her giving Jill a chance to take her mind off of Chris.

 

\-----

 

“Please don’t rain. Please don’t rain!” Claire muttered under her breath like a mantra as she and Chris walked a little faster. Lightning flashed overhead followed by a loud crack causing her to almost jump out of her skin. 

Chris shook his head with a grin, “It’s not like you’re made of sugar.” 

“I am too!” Claire snapped as she sped her walk up to a slow jog. Chris followed at her pace, jogging beside her as they rounded the corner onto West 5th Street. Another peal of thunder boomed over them as Claire started to gulp in large amounts of air. 

“You’re out of shape.” Chris called as he playfully sped up and took the lead. 

“Hey! That’s not how you treat your sister!” Claire cried out breathlessly as he slowed down enough to reach into his pocket and dig out his keys. 

“Better hurry Claire, it looks like it could start pouring any moment now.” Rifling through his set of keys, Chris finally found the only silver key he had on the ring. Shoving it into the lock, he placed his foot against the bottom of the door to push it into place, and the key turned effortlessly. 

Claire stood behind him, looking over her shoulder as she pushed her hands onto his back, “Come on Chris! I don’t want to get wet.” 

“What was that?” Chris asked, planting his feet as he turned halfway towards her hand cupped at the back of his ear. 

“Chris!” Claire shoved once again, but this time Chris didn’t move. 

“What’s the magic word?” Chris asked, a small grin playing upon his lips. 

“I’m telling mom.” Claire growled, shoving him once more. 

“Okay, okay.” Chris moved inside and Claire moved in right behind him. As soon as they left the street, the sky opened up and large droplets fell from the sky, slow at first, and then with more increasing force. 

“Whoo! Just in time.” Claire sighed, satisfied to not have been wet, as she looked out the glass door and shook her head. 

“Come on. I’m ready to get back in the apartment.” Chris turned from the front entryway of the apartment complex and moved towards the stairwell. It was a short jog up the steps, and more complaining from Claire before they finally reached his floor. Fumbling with the small ring again, Chris found a rusted bronze key, taking less time to open his own apartment door. He didn’t bother to look behind him as he removed his shoes in the entrance. 

Habits from home really never did leave. His mother and father had both been so adamant about the removal of keeping the carpet clean that the habit had just stuck with him. Claire shut the door behind them both, locking the bottom lock and the deadbolt. “That was a lot of fun.” 

“Yeah. It was.” Chris moved through the small hallway and into the living room as he moved into the small kitchen. 

Claire followed him, settling down in one of the chairs at the dining table. The wood was cool against her arms, a welcome feeling after being outside in the humidity, “So.” 

Chris opened the fridge humming noncommittally. “So?” 

“How did it feel seeing everyone again?” Claire let her fingers play against the dark wood drawing circles on the back of the chair. 

“It was nice. Not exactly what I was expecting.” Chris answered honestly. 

After all, it wasn’t like he could keep too much from Claire, she was his little sister and knew him just as well as Jill did. He had felt the other keeping tabs on him all evening, and he had noticed how Jake had politely avoided him, Leon had kept him occupied in conversation, and Sherry spared him worried glances. 

He didn’t used to be so damn weak that he needed everyone treating him like a fragile statue ready to crack apart at the slightest touch. Chris Redfield was built of sturdier stuff than that. 

Before Claire could probe any deeper, Chris pulled out two water bottles from the fridge, “The better question is why aren’t you going on vacation with Leon?” 

“Excuse me?” Claire blinked at her brother, shooting him a rather unimpressed look. 

“Didn’t you have a thing for him or something?” Chris pressed one of the bottles to the back of her neck. 

“Hey!” Claire grumbled as she reached up and grabbed the bottle from her brother, shooting him a dirty look. 

“What?” Chris asked as he sat in the chair opposite hers.

“We never really talked about it. Maybe I liked him at one time, but I doubt that we would really connect like that.” Claire twisted the cap on her bottle, way more interested in the cool contents after having jogged. Her stomach grumbled in protest as she extinguished whatever it was that was threatening to make her sick to her stomach. 

“Then I guess it really has been a while for both of us.” Chris sipped noisily from his own bottle. 

“Why are you being such an ass to me?” Claire laughed as she reached over smacking her big brother’s shoulder with an open palm. 

“Because I’m your big brother and that’s what we do?” Chris raised both his eyebrows at her as he stared over the top of his water. 

“Yeah, yeah. Well, I’m thankful you seem to be getting even more normal now. Everyone was worried, you even had me worried.” Claire’s voice softened as she looked away from him over towards the window as raindrops painted the window and distorted the dark street outside. 

Chris didn’t have to look at her to know that she really was worried. Everyone was, but he just brushed it off and stood up, “Yeah, well, I bounce back pretty quick.” 

He could say that, but he had at one point disappeared and it had been Piers that had tracked him down. His fingers tightened around the water bottle just a little and Claire flinched at the cracking noise as the bottle protested the rough treatment, “Sorry. I brought down the mood.” 

“It’s not your fault. We all have our demons.” Chris muttered as he reached over ruffling her hair affectionately. Claire didn’t move this time, she let him and sighed as she reached up dragging her hand through her bangs after he was through. 

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” She conceded as she combed her hair back in place. 

After all, in her own mind were the people she had witnessed die before her eyes that she couldn’t save. In this world if you had been touched by the Umbrella Corporation, any of the BOWs, or done anything to fight back and lived, you had probably seen someone die. Odds are it was a person you really cared about or had shared time with. 

Claire tried not to think of Steve Burnside. 

“Anyway, I should probably get some rest. I have a few friends who live in the area that I’m going to go to lunch with. Maybe we can grab breakfast before that?” Claire suggested as she stood up and stretched her arms over her head. 

“Maybe. I don’t really do early breakfast.” Chris chuckled and leaned back in his chair. 

“Try and get a little sleep, for me?” Claire asked as she looked over towards the clock. It was just a little past midnight, but she could at least try and get him to go to bed, right? 

“No promises. I’m going to finish my water.” Chris motioned to the bottle before him. 

“Okay, well, goodnight Chris.” Claire leaned over his shoulder kissing his cheek. Straightening herself up, she turned without another glance and moved through the living room and into the guest room shutting the door behind her.

Waiting for a few moments, Chris listened to the silence in the apartment. 

It was deafening. 

Standing up from his seat, he moved over to the cabinet over the stove, opening it up. A bottle of whiskey long since untouched sat on the shelf gathering dust. Grabbing the bottle Chris took it setting it down on the dinner table. Moving to the cabinet beside the sink he pulled out two glasses and returned to the table. 

Chris slowly pulled off the plastic seal from around the cap, before he turned the tin lid and opened the bottle. The sweet and smokey smell of the whiskey wafted around him causing Chris’s heart to pound just a little already. 

“To the survivors, huh?” Chris poured a little into each glass as he smiled wryly at nothing. Shoving one of the glasses towards the other side of the table, it slid across the wood and stopped right at the edge of the table. Chris grabbed his own and lifted it up with a nod of his head towards the empty seat. 

“You should have been there tonight Piers.” With that, Chris knocked the room temperature whiskey back, a grimace on his face as the liquid burned his throat and light everything on fire all the way down.

Filling back up his own glass, a little more this time Chris sighed and stared hard at the glass across from him as if it could give him answers, “I’m sorry. For everything. I wasn’t able to save you.” 

Knocking another back glass back, the burn turned into a pleasant warmth that flowed from his chest, down his torso and then into his legs and arms. The glass in front of him stayed untouched, as if Chris expected anything less even on Halloween. Piers wouldn’t be making an appearance. The kid was probably watching him with that same disapproving pursed lip disappointment from above. 

Chris felt his eyes blur as he leaned back heavily into his seat, his eyes wandering around the ceiling and the walls as he let his thoughts wander to his former subordinate. 

 

\-----

 

_“So. I know no one else is going to ask, so I will.” One of Chris’s more boisterous squad approached Piers. Chris had been half listening since he was still going over the orders on the radio. Piers Nivans had come highly recommended and so of course that was going to chafe some of the older squad member’s hides._

_However, he had read the other’s papers before he had been added to the squad. Having someone that kept a good eye in a tight situation would be worth it in the end._

_Piers didn’t look up from where he sat with his gun, adjusting his equipment as he waited for their move out order. Chris grimaced as he noticed the same squad member, Jackson, stepped closer into Pier’s space. Had someone done the same thing when Chris was Piers’ age he would have given them a black eye._

_That didn’t happen, again, the aggressiveness was met with no reaction at all as Piers finally looked up at Jackson, “If you have something to ask that doesn’t deal with the mission, can it wait?”_

_“Look. I just want to know one thing man, do you like guys or not?” Most of the men in the squad who had been chatting as they waited to move out stopped and stared at Jackson. Piers stared at Jackson and Chris sighed turning back to put a hand on his ear to listen to the rest of the transmission. If they decided to fight it wasn’t going to be his problem. He would punish them both._

_“Yeah, I do. So what?” Piers asked, raising an eyebrow at Jackson._

_“That is so wrong to ask Jackson. Who cares?” Another squad member nicknamed Jinx tsked as he shook his head. Jackson frowned as he threw a glare towards Jinx._

_Most of the men turned back to their respective chats and Piers went back to ignoring Jackson. Jackson’s hands went into fist and before he could say anymore or do anything stupid, Chris turned to his men shooting Jackson a unimpressed look. “Okay men. We have our orders. It’s a simple route the people and get them to safety before the situation turns volatile. There shouldn’t be any BOWs but if there are we'll run it like always. Be on your guard and stay together with your partner.”_

_Everyone worked in partners, it was what kept casualties down to a minimum. If you had someone watching your back you were less likely to get caught with your guard down._

_“Okay, let’s go. We will be rendezvousing with Beta team after for our next mission coordinates. Oh, and Piers?” Chris called out to the young man as he saw the other turn and regard him quietly over his shoulder._

_“You’re with me rookie.” Piers frowned, but moved to stand on his left._

_Everything was going smooth._

_They had been able to evacuate the students and staff safely from all of the surrounding buildings without incident._

_“The coms have been too quiet.”_

_Chris narrowed his eyes on the larger maintenance warehouse building at the edge of the college. Why there was a building that large for maintenance work, there was no real explanation. But, that had been the tip off from Rebecca Chambers that something of worth may be there._

_“Beta team, please respond.” Chris cupped his hand over the small earpiece he wore, eyes narrowed as they continued their slow, systematic approach. Nothing but silence._

_“Beta team, respond.” Chris stopped, as the line continued to advance towards the building. There were no sounds of distress coming from the communication link, the only thing that he really heard was a little static on the line. His pulse picked up just a little bit._

_Beta team had a green leader. Most of the people in B.S.A.A had been thoroughly broken in, but there were one or two recruits that always showed promise, and because they needed the help they were pushed up through the ranks too quickly. Ramirez was one of those recruits that showed promise. He was hungry for recognition and way too young and eager to prove himself._

_“Ramirez, respond!” Barked Chris as he heard the static waver and a raise in pitch. But, that wasn’t a normal. The static almost sounded like a hiss, and one that had the hair on the back of his neck standing straight up._

_“Shit! Stand down!” He pulled the piece out of his ear and tossed it away with a grimace at the tell tale hiss through the static._

_Those closest to him had listened, but Jinx who was on point had been too focused on the door, his gloved hand around the knob. His hand was on the underside of the door knob, arm extended out._

_As Jinx opened the door, Chris shouted, “Jinx. Wait!”_

_It was too late. At first there was silence and then a loud roar as a licker shoved its weight into the door, and broke it down with Jinx under it. A loud scream echoed from underneath the door and then nothing as the wood splintered out underneath its feet. Undeterred the large BOW scrambled off the shards of door and Jinx’s broken body. It lowered itself with a growl tongue whipping back and forth._

_Behind it several other hisses and roars sounded out from within the walls of the warehouse. Before Chris could open his mouth, there was a shriek from under the door. Somehow Jinx was still alive._

_“Jinx!” The licker’s head went up as it sniffed the air, and it turned back towards the unlucky point man for Alpha squad._

_Jinx stared back up at the creature from amidst the broken door and splinters of wood. The tongue whipped back. Chris pulled his gun up, but before he could even react to pull the trigger, the tongue came from above and smashed into Jinx’s neck with a sickening squelch. The scream became a choked off cough tapering off into a gurgle._

_Chris pulled the trigger on his gun and didn’t let his finger off of it as the force the licker was hit with tossed it a few feet to the right. The creature hissed and multiple men started to scream and flee as another jumped through one of the high windows and scurried down the building towards them._

_“Soldiers. Retreat and regroup!” Chris growled as he started moving back. The initial surprise had finally worn off enough for the soldiers to start to listen and get out of their heads. The good ones were laying down a suppressing fire as they tried to keep their eyes on the doors, windows, and look out for each other._

_Claws sliced through the metal walls as if they were nothing but paper, and they broke through glass without a care as to any potential injuries they might have sustained. That was what made them such formidable and aggressive BOWs. Out in the open the men backed up and continued to lay down fire as they moved back quietly._

_“Keep up your focus!” Chris ordered as he heard one of his men scream in pain. It was surprising he had even heard the scream because the sound of his heartbeat had plugged up his ears since the BOWs had emerged._

_He was too focused on trying to keep his squad alive._

_A shot of shock and panic ran up his back as he turned to look over to his left where Piers should have been, but the other was missing. Anger and fear spiked together a mingled as he grit his teeth together and turned to focus on helping exterminate the BOWs. “Piers!”_

_No answer._

_Another scream echoed from a team member who had been pounced on by two of the large monsters at once. Their long claws made short work of his chest as a muffled crack could be heard. As they scurried away, blood sprayed from the dead soldier like a geyser. Chris himself misted in blood, smelled the copper and nearly choked._

_**Don’t think about it. Keep going Chris.** _

_Instinct told him to ignore the wetness sliding down his cheek, to picture it as something that wasn’t thick, warm blood from someone he knew. He had to keep it together they needed a leader. This wasn’t the end of things. A growl sounded from his right, and Chris pivoted himself shooting first. That decision had saved his life and the lives of two of his soldiers. The licker slowed and finally stopped its rampage tongue going slack as it fell to the side, limbs relaxing as it lay lifeless on the ground, legs twitching and going still._

_A whistle of a bullet whizzed right by Chris’s left ear, and it took everything Chris had not to duck. The shot was clean and lobbed off part of the brain of the last licker the team hadn’t already taken care of. The creature stumbled around as Chris approached it and he stepped on the tongue keeping it in one place._

_The creature growled and scrambled towards him, claws digging into the dirt beneath them as it came towards him in a last ditch effort to maim him. Chris dug in his the heel of his combat boot into the tongue, and pulled his combat knife stabbing the BOW in the center of it’s brain with a squelch._

_Before he could even step off the tongue, another assisting fire from a higher vantage point shot the licker making it’s head explode. Grimacing as parts flew everywhere, Chris waited for a moment before kneeling to pull out his knife from what was left of the head. Wiping it off on his lower pants, he stood up and holstered the knife. Shooting a look towards where the shots had come from, Chris narrowed his eyes. He already had a feeling where and who the shots had been from._

_Piers stood on the top of the nearest school building to them, watching Chris quietly before proceeding to the emergency ladder and carefully crawling back down. When he made it to the ground, Chris was waiting at the side of the building._

_“I thought I said with me, soldier.” Chris growled as he reached out and gripped Piers by the shoulder of his vest._

_“You also said retreat and regroup. I was just doing what I thought was right to minimize injuries and casualties.” Piers answered as he stood up just a little straighter, gun in one arm and his other hand balled into a fist at his side._

_**Was this how Wesker had felt working with me when I was his age?** _

_Chris sighed and turned away, “Come on. We need to check on the survivors.”_

 

\-----

 

That had been their first of more than a handful of missions. 

Chris filled his glass once again as he sighed and swirled the amber liquid around his glass with a soft sigh. Thankfully they had been able to count on Rebecca Chambers for help since she was their undercover agent on that mission. 

“Three dead. Five injured and four unscathed. You really made a name for yourself there Piers.” Chris slurred as he shut his eyes. His head felt light as if it was floating away from his shoulders like a balloon, tethered with just a small ribbon to keep it in place.

The memorial service for the deceased a been on a sunny day, not a cloud in sight. It was the perfect day to go for a walk or to be active outside, but here they were standing in the middle of a sunny meadow with a hole dug into ground, smelling fresh and new. He remembered the way the others from the B.S.A.A had stood to the back of the family and friends, solemn and silent. 

Conflicted. 

Survivors guilt. 

The same hollow feeling that Chris was feeling in his chest right at that moment as he thought about Piers. They had lost everyone on that mission, and then he had lost Piers. His lips quirked ruefully, “Some Captain I am.” 

There were so many hypotheticals and what ifs that Chris had gone through at that point. They ran out in the back of his mind and became even more loud as he continued to drink. Chris pressed the heel of his hand against his forehead, eyes shutting tightly as he sighed, “Why didn’t I react quicker? If only I’d-” 

He cut himself off with a grimace and a slow shake of the head. “What did you go through in the bowels of the underwater facility? Why did you push me out of the way?” 

Piers had pushed him and had been caught by the large hand instead of him right after. The scream was one that haunted Chris, causing him to grip the glass in his hand just a little tighter, his other reaching for the whiskey and cradling it as he pressed his cheek to the side of the bottle in misery. 

Chris had heard the distinct crushing of bone of his second in commands arm, and the way the cry of surprise had turned to one of absolute pain. Then as Chris had opened fire, Piers had been flung through the air against a metal wall, sliding down. His arm had been pierced by the metal that had been bent free of the door, effectively pinning the other out of the fight. 

However, nothing was ever that simple. Chris’s instinct had been to run to him, to help save the one person he still had left. That hadn’t been good enough, and Haos had other plans. It had picked up some debris and had sent them sailing after Chris, but they had missed him and pinned Piers to the wall by the same shoulder and caught arm.

The look of pure agony as Pier’s threw his head back as his body tensed up and he screamed again had made Chris nearly beside himself. He wanted to be there. He wanted to help. Why couldn’t he get there and _help_? 

Chris poured enough whiskey until it nearly overflowed the rim of the glass and spilled onto his hand and the table jolting him back to the present. Almost. That would have been a waste of alcohol and a little less to go into his bloodstream and effectively get the thoughts to quit racing through his head. 

Knocking back another glass of whiskey in one go, Chris sat the cup down a little harder, the noise startling him belatedly. The walls danced and swayed as he tasted the bitterness rising back up his throat as he thought of Piers, and he slammed the bottom of his fist against the table, chest against the the edge as he hunched over it lips trembling, “Damn it Piers. It should have been me.” 

The old soldier picked up the glass and turned towards the wall as he pulled his arm back to throw the glass against the wall. Instead of letting the glass fly from his fingertips, Chris plunked it back onto the table and picked up the bottle filling it right back up again.

“I’m definitely not going to be able to go to breakfast in the morning.” 

 

\----

 

_”Captain. Are you okay?”_

_Piers voice cut through the post funeral haze without any fanfare. As the survivors all filed out, the young sharpshooter bounded after him. Chris pretended not to see how some of the other soldiers winced._

_No one bothered him after a funeral, it was the one time that Chris’s hot temper and foul mood tended to get the best of him._

_“We’re just coming from a funeral. Don’t ask something so callous.” Chris all but snapped at the new soldier._

_Piers was undeterred as he slowly walked beside his Captain. The lives of his new comrades probably didn’t weigh on Piers as much as the others right now. After all it had been his first mission. He hadn’t celebrated any victories with this group, he hadn’t been through the loss of good friends. None of that had happened to Piers yet._

_That realization was something that caused larger chips of his patience to fall at the steady presence at his right. “That’s true. But, it’s a choice. Those soldiers knew what they were signing up for.”_

_Chris felt his anger spike as he turned sharply to face the other. “Want to say that again?”_

_Piers watched him with that same calm look and clear eyes. “You know it’s true. I knew what I was getting into when I signed up to be in the Special Operations Unit of the B.S.A.A. Everyone knows that it’s risky, but they signed up knowing that they wanted to do something for the greater good.”_

_Clenching his hands at his sides, Chris felt the vein in his neck pop as his vision swam. Piers Nivans was driving his blood pressure up at an alarming rate. “Tell that to their friends and family and the ones left behind.”_

_He had seen the way Jinx’s widow had looked at him, eyes dark and mouth trembling as he had moved forward to pay his respects. Their deaths were his fault, it didn’t mean that was the truth, but that was _their_ truth. Chris understood that and had carried that burden since he had become the leader of Alpha team. _

_“If that’s all you have to say I will see you some other time.” Chris ground out between his clenched teeth._

_“That’s not all I have to say. I’ve been around other superiors after things have gone south on them, and I’ve seen that look in your eyes. You can’t save everyone, Captain. You can try, but all that’s going to do is make it harder when you fail. You’re too good of a man to fall into that hell.” The words were effortless, as were all things that Piers Nivans did._

_Was this kid real?_

_“It’s not your fault. No one knew that there would be BOWs there. If they had we wouldn’t have just evacuated the buildings and area, we would have had another two teams at least to help in the operation. You gave the orders and your squad sustained few losses.” Piers continued, most of the other soldiers stood quite a ways away waiting to make sure that their Captain didn’t kill the new guy._

_“That’s not your call to make. I should have been able to help keep them safe.” Chris uttered softly._

_“That thinking is going to get you killed one day.” Piers concluded with a sigh as he rubbed at the back of his neck. The wind rushed past them shaking the limbs of the trees as silence settled in between them._

_More and more he was starting to see Piers in himself. Part of him tried not to think of how Wesker must have felt when he had followed him around and made observations like this._

_Wesker had been a different man at one time, at least he had appeared to be. Part of his chest ached a little when he thought of the man he had killed with his own hands and the help of the others around him. There was no reason to think that far into the past._

_“Are you done?” Chris asked._

_“Only if you don’t want to come to my place and have a drink. It’s better than going to a bar in a suit and smelling like cigarettes when you’re done. Suit cleaners are expensive.” Chris blinked as he listened and he shook his head with an awkward smile._

_“No thanks.”_

_“Come on Captain, what do you have to lose?” Piers gave him a tired half smile._

_He should have turned him down, Chris knew better, but he just shook his head and sighed, “Sure. Why not?”_

 

\------

 

“Chris?” 

Claire’s voice woke him out of his stupor. The clock on the microwave wobbled in and out of focus, but if he squinted his eyes and held his tongue just right he could make out 3:56 A.M. Brushing the back of his wrist over his damp cheek, Chris looked over to his sister. 

“Did I wake you?” 

Claire’s hair was down, and she wore a large t-shirt, probably one of his, and a pair of sleeping shorts. Moving into the kitchen she frowned at the table and then put a hand on her hip as she stood off by the sink, “Decided to have a few drinks after all?” 

Had her tone been judgmental, he probably would have had a scathing comeback ready, however it was more genuine and conversational. He squinted his eyes at her and she motioned to the other glass on the other side of the table, “Was that for Piers?” 

“Yeah. It was.” Chris admitted.

“It’s hard to think I won’t be getting anymore requests for pictures of you when you were younger. I remember the first e-mail he sent me he was so nervous.” Claire smiled and shook her head, pressing her hip to the nearest counter. 

They had become pen pals after that as it was easier for Claire to get a hold of his second in command. She hadn’t been able to go to Edonia and look for her brother herself, but he had kept her apprised. This was all the information Claire had been able to give him when he had come back. 

“You know big brother, it’s the thought that counts.” Claire soothed as she moved over and slowly reached out grabbing both glasses from the table. Afterward she quietly wet a dishcloth and cleaned the top of the table for any alcohol that may or may not have spilled. Chris watched her actions, it was like watching something with a lag between her voice and the actions and sounds produced. 

Reaching up, he pinched the bridge of his nose between his pointer finger and thumb, squeezing his eyes shut. “I probably won’t feel like getting food in the morning.” 

“Oh no, you’re still going. Greasy food is good for a hangover.” Claire informed him as she tossed the rag over the middle of the sink to dry. 

Chris sighed and slowly stood up, finding very quickly his palms planted onto the table as his vision turned sideways. Claire looked at him, pressed her lips together and took a few steps towards him, “Need some help there big guy?” 

“Yeah.” Chris muttered as he felt his balance shift back and forth. 

Before Claire could step beside him and throw his arm over her shoulders, he motioned to the bottle. “Do you think you could take care of that too?” 

Claire looked at the bottle and picked it up. She marched over to the sink and turned the bottle upside down watching the amber liquid as it swirled around the basin and slid down the drain. Once the bottle was empty she rinsed it out and tossed it into the trash. “Is there anymore?” 

“If I think there are, I’ll have you check tomorrow.” Chris slurred as he let his little sister help him stumble into the living room and then into his bedroom. Sitting down on the edge of his bed, Chris sighed and shook his head, “I thought I was past this.” 

“It takes time, Piers was close to you. Things like this will happen, but you’ll just have to get up and keep going.” Claire informed him, folding her arms in front of her chest. 

“Such an optimist.” Chris groaned, his back hitting the nice cold comforter, his eyes sliding shut as he pressed the back of his arm over his eyes. 

“Good night big brother.” Claire turned and padded quietly out of the room. Chris waved his arm over to his right and smacked the bottom of the lamp on the nightstand. The soft glow blinked out and left the inebriated Captain alone in the dark. 

 

\----

 

_Chris should have expected it as soon as they drove into the apartment complex and passed the gate. He should have known that Piers may have acted like him when he was younger, but he was undoubtedly more put together._

_The complex was clean and quiet, and everything a younger Chris would have liked. The one difference being that Chris had been in the military after dropping out from college, so he hadn’t had the luxury of having an apartment until he had ended up in S.T.A.R.S in Racoon City._

_Piers waited for him to exit the vehicle before moving up the two flights of stairs and opening his door. A loud bark sounded out from the back of the apartment. After a second a large German Shepard came bouncing towards them wiggling its whole entire body instead of its tail. Squatting Piers snagged the dog by the collar before he could reach Chris._

_“Hey big guy.” Piers ruffled the top of the over excited dog’s head._

_Chris stepped inside and shut the door to prevent the pooch from escaping. Without looking towards the door Piers grinned, “Could you lock the door too. Last thing we want is someone mistaking this for their apartment and getting lots of love from Ein.”_

_“Sure.” Chris turned and turned both the lock on the door handle and the dead bolt. As he did, the force of the dog pushed on the back of his legs._

_“Ein!” Piers called out with a laugh._

_Chris turned and slowly looked down at the dog, reaching his hand out. The dog sniffed it and then promptly lathered his entire palm in saliva. “Friendly dog.”_

_“Yeah, he can be.” Standing up, Piers moved into the living room motioning for Chris to follow. Ein perked up and spun, following his master leaving his Captain by the door. The apartment was equally clean, there wasn’t a speck of trash and everything looked well cared for and used._

_Before Piers disappeared into his bedroom, he motioned towards one of the off white couches, “Sit there or you can sit at the table. Either works.”_

_Chris made his way over and sank into the couch, his body relaxing as he let out a slow sigh. It was quiet, and definitely very inviting. The usual bachelor pad normally smelled of beer and unclean clothing that had been sitting in a pile for weeks. Not Pier’s apartment. It smelled like peppermint and something else and was the cleanest apartment he had seen for someone his age._

__Why am I here?_ _

_Why _was_ he there? Piers appeared a few moments later without his tie and jacket, the crisp shirt that had been underneath was now slightly unbuttoned and shoved past his elbows. Without any fanfare, Piers moved around the couches and into the kitchen. _

_“So what do you want to drink?”_

_Chris sat up lazily, forearms on his elbows as he watched Piers. The other rummaged through a cabinet filled with several different sized and shaped bottles. “I’ll take whiskey on the rocks.”_

_“Sounds good. I think I have some that my dad gave me when they visited last. I don’t drink whiskey a lot, but it’s a good drink to have for company. Or at least that’s what I was told.” A bit more rummaging was done before the young man sat down a bottle on the counter and went into another cabinet for glasses._

_“Sounds like your dad is a smart man.” Chris stood up moving over to the bar counter. Piers came back with a cup of ice and quietly poured some into both glasses. He lifted the bottle and poured some in for both of them, more into Chris’s cup._

_“Think I need more than you do?” Chris chuckled softly, shaking his head slowly._

_“I know you want more than I do.” Piers answered as he put the cork back into the top of the bottle. Grabbing the bottle and his glass, Piers tipped his head towards the table, and Chris stepped around the edge of the couch he had been lounging on. Both took up seats opposite one another at the table._

_“So, Captain-” Piers started._

_“When we aren’t on duty you can call me Chris.”_

_Piers instantly lost some of the tension in his shoulders, a small smile playing on his lips. “Okay Chris. I thought I would let you know that I am really excited to get to work beside you. I’ve heard a lot of stories about you.”_

_“They’re probably not true.” Chris smirked over the rim of his glass._

_Even though today had been a hard day, and even though he normally preferred to go home and take his anger and frustration out in whatever way he could, Chris found that knot in his chest unwinding little by little. What was it about this young soldier that made him so relaxed?_

_“I’m pretty sure they are. Everyone knows about your history and Jill Valentine’s history. You can’t really escape it.” Piers took a sip of his whiskey and then abandoned it as he licked his lower lip sitting back in his chair._

_“I wouldn’t have pegged you for someone who cared about accomplishments.” Chris murmured softly._

_“I don’t. But, when it comes to people who have actually made a difference in this world, it’s not hard to want to help them and do what I can.” Piers trailed the tip of his pointer finger around the rim of the glass slowly._

_Chris watched him, and his lips quirked up at the edge. “I know how you feel. That’s how I felt working on the Alpha team when I was a part of S.T.A.R.S. I was a troublemaker, but I got to work with Albert Wesker and I really wanted to make a difference.”_

_As soon as the name left his lips, his gut churned and he felt his smile sour just a bit._

_Albert Wesker._

_A man he hadn’t given much thought to in a long time. He remembered the rush of what it had felt like to walk alongside him and to work with him. Chris also remembered with a sinking feeling the first time he had stood in front of him and in his way. He never would forget Albert Wesker as long as he lived._

_“Yeah, that’s what I want to do by going into the B.S.A.A. I really want to make a difference and use my skills to help others.” Piers sighed as he pulled his glass back and lifted it up._

_“That’s not a bad thing to do, but shouldn’t you want to be somewhere that you don’t have a high risk of dying? There are other ways to make a difference.” Chris pointed out as he shifted on the wooden chair. The cushion bunched up underneath him, so he shifted back into his original position with a grimace. Stupid cushion._

_“I’m good at this, and someone has to want to do it. If not, then everything that you and the B.S.A.A have fought for would mean nothing.” Chris narrowed his eyes and stared at the other across the table. Piers stared back, eyes narrowed in challenge and lips pursed as he waited for whatever Chris was going to say next._

_What could he say? Piers was right._

_Both stared at each other for the longest time and Piers finally let an easy smile spread onto his features. Chris rolled his shoulders back and turned his neck sideways until it popped. “I see.”_

_“I meant to ask you if you remember hearing what Jackson said to me before our first mission.”_

_Chris thought back to the confrontation that had almost materialized into a fight. The words had been so easily out of Pier’s mouth about liking men. ‘Yes, I do. So what?’_

_So what indeed._

 

\-----

 

Chris sat up and immediately catapulted himself out of bed and towards his bathroom. 

Smacking his hand against the wall, Chris turned on the light, hit his shoulder on the frame as he bumbled into the bathroom. Immediately he fell onto his knees in front of the toilet his hands gripping the sides as he felt his soul try to leave his body and escape into the porcelain bowl below. 

Leaning back after a round of sickness, Chris winced. His head pounded and his mouth tasted like stomach acid. 

“Praying to the porcelain Gods big bro?” Claire peeked her head into the bathroom. Chris didn’t look at her, instead he slowly forced himself up and turned towards the shower turning it on with one hand, the other holding up his body. The hiss of the water against the tub made his head throb. 

“Yeah, I drank a little more than I should have.” Chris muttered as he swayed back and forth. His stomach gurgled in warning and he edged towards the toilet again. Claire shook her head and sighed as she folded her arms over her chest. “Can I get you anything?” 

“Bottle of water, aspirin, sweat pants, and a new body.” Chris turned his back to her, tugging at the t-shirt he was wearing and pushing it up his torso. His stomach tingled and threatened to start burning once more from how tightly his muscles had just been forced to clench. 

A dark chuckle came from the back of his mind, causing a shiver to run up his spine. The same chuckle threatened to take his slowly weakening buzz away in one fell swoop. It was either that or he might try and find another bottle of alcohol in the apartment. 

Claire turned her back to him and waved a hand up into the air dismissively. “Okay, I got it. I’ll drop them here while you’re in the shower. Don’t pass out or this is going to make one awkward story to the medics that have to come take you to the hospital.” 

Making short work of the button on the top of his pants, he pushed the jeans and his boxers onto the floor. Chris maneuvered himself and carefully stepped into the shower, the lukewarm water hitting his warm skin. He jumped slightly and pressed his hands to the cold tiles under the shower head as he sighed and shook his head slowly. Any quick movement made Chris instantly regret drinking. 

“Maybe that’s why I hadn’t drank in so long.” 

Of course, he really couldn’t lie to himself. After Edonia, losing his team, and then losing Piers he had seen how bad he had been when he had drank. He had found himself enough to crawl out of a bottle once, Chris didn’t need to find himself at the bottom of a bottle again. Last night had been a slip, not a major one, but it could have been. 

“Damn it.” 

_You behavior is hardly appropriate for the person who defeated me._

The words, the voice. There was no way it was real, but it didn’t stop the words from materializing in his mind and sounding just like him. 

Wesker. 

_Tell me Chris. Was the path you decided to walk down worth it? You may be alive, but you are barely clinging to your sanity. Maybe you should have let me end it all for you._

Wesker was dead. But, Chris was never very sure when it came to the other man. Not even lava and a pair RPG-7 rockets let him be totally sure. But, then maybe that was how Chris had built him up in his head. 

Maybe that’s why he was hearing him now. 

“Maybe I am going crazy, but I’m still alive and that’s more than I can say for you.” Chris uttered weakly between clenched teeth. The water made him feel more alive, but if this was going to happen when he drank, he would make sure another drop of liquor never passed his lips.

_My, still so strong even in your fragility. One day you’ll have to tell me if all this was worth it when I see you in hell._

“Chris?” Claire called from the other side of the curtain. 

“Yeah Claire?” Standing up a little his sister’s voice had shocked him out of his thoughts and away from that haunting voice. 

“You okay? I heard you talking to yourself.” Claire asked from right outside the curtain. 

“Yeah. I’m going to just finish getting cleaned up and get back to bed. After all we are going to breakfast in the morning, right? So I can have some grease?” He tried to make himself sound normal, even if after hearing that voice he felt like that was definitely furthest from the truth. 

_Why now? Why Wesker? Am I finally going crazy?_

“Okay, it’s about five, if we get up at nine that should give you a little more time to sleep.” Claire called as she once again moved out of the bathroom shutting the door behind her. 

Thirty minutes passed in the blink of an eye as Chris climbed out of the shower. He dried himself off and took a few aspirin to help with his pounding head. It tasted predictably like chalk, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. He took a swig of water and waited to see if his stomach would accept the offering without trying to return it.

The light was still off thankfully, and the sheets and cooled once again which made Chris relax as he slid down between the sheets this time. The sheets stuck to his damp skin, but it was comforting either way. He was too tired to let his thoughts continue to wander, and before he even knew it Chris was out like a light. 

 

\-----

 

_”Does it bother you?” Piers asked as he took another swig of whiskey._

_“Does what bother me?” Chris asked as he did the same, setting the glass down on the table with a thud._

_“That I like men. Does that bother you?” Piers clarified, eyes boring holes into Chris. The older male kept his eyes politely on the contents in his glass._

_**Does it bother me?** _

_Not really. He had had feelings like Piers had before. It tended to happen when he came to be attached to someone. Attachment and attraction were a lot alike and sometimes one could be mistaken for the other._

_“No it doesn’t bother me, but we should keep it professional.” Chris let his hand fall away from the glass and into his lap. He finally looked up at Piers and let their eyes connect as he sat there, and the younger man stood up slowly rounding the table._

_**Oh. So that’s what this is…** _

_He was about to be seduced, Chris’s brain helpfully supplied._

_“Didn’t you say we were off duty right now?” Piers rounded the side of the table stopping a few feet from Chris._

_“We are but anything that could develop from this, with this, would be bad for the team. It would be bad for us.” Chris deflected as he turned and sat up a little so the cushion didn’t twist underneath him this time. Piers watched him carefully and slowly took another step forward._

_“Piers.” Chris warned, his voice low._

_“It’s a good thing I’m good at compartmentalizing isn’t it? This might just be the thing you need.” Piers murmured as he reached out with both hands and took hold of him just under Chris’s ears. He tilted his Captain’s head up and leaned down his lips pressing softly over Chris's._

_It felt like everything in Chris’s body froze, and then something shattered. It was like he mentally heard a glass break and everything that he had been holding back flooded forward. Everything crashed down upon Chris: his anger at losing soldiers, his exasperation for this young man, and even the shock of being touched in such an intimate way when had hadn’t been expecting it._

_This all crashed down around them, and Chris wasn’t sure he could pick up the pieces._

_His arms wrapped around Pier’s waist and he angled his head to press his lips more firmly in reciprocation, his heart hammering in his head all the while. As their lips parted and smashed against each other in their haste to re-taste the other._

_Piers tasted of whiskey and peppermint candy. There was something soothing about the way both tastes mingled making Chris’s head swim pleasantly as he sighed softly out of his nose and slotted their lips together once more._

_**What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?** _

_The words repeated themselves in the back of his mind over and over again as he trembled and leaned back to breathe._

_To think._

_His head still felt dizzy but the proximity and closeness to the other didn’t feel so much like the end of the world. “Piers.”_

_The young man stopped him from talking with another quick kiss, his teeth nipping at Chris’s lower lip as he tugged gently and ran his tongue over the lower one. Chris inhaled sharply as Pier’s pulled back and started to kiss anywhere he could reach. The young soldier’s lips brushed over his forehead._

_His cheeks._

_His jaw._

_Slowly, they started to trek down the column of his throat making Chris tip his head back to allow Pier’s more space where his lips could reach. The soft fluttering kisses to his pulse made his heart pinch in his chest._

_**I want more.** _

_Finally, Piers pulled back slowly, eyes shut as he let out a shaky breath, Chris’s arms refused to unwind and let him go._

_It really had been too long._

_“This isn’t something I normally do.” Chris mumbled as he watched Piers try and take a step back._

_“I get that. Saving the world from BOWs doesn’t exactly give you many opportunities, does it?” Piers breathed slowly his lips curling into a crooked smile._

_Chris shook his head and let his eyes roam from Pier’s torso slowly up to his face. Even with how self assured the young man was, he still hadn’t opened his eyes. Maybe he didn’t want to open them and see his face right now. Chris kept his arm wound around the young soldier’s waist as his right hand pressed against the back of Pier’s neck guiding his head down for another kiss._

_A shudder ran through Piers as he stepped closer and opened his mouth hesitantly his tongue brushing over the seam of Chris’s lips. His back stiffened up and Chris tugged him a little closer as he parted his lips, fingers stroking gently against Pier’s hip. The gentle caress earned him a soft whimper, the sound going straight to his dick._

_After a few more seconds of intimacy Piers pulled back, and Chris let him go. Pressing his hand over his mouth, Piers let out a heaving sigh as he shook his head turning red almost instantaneously, Chris hummed and smiled wryly, “Surprised?”_

_“Just a bit.” Piers admitted, his voice sounding a little gruff and guarded._

_“Was it everything you thought it would be and more?” Chris had the decency to look contrite as Piers shot a glare at him over both of his hands._

_“What happened to all that confidence?” Chris teased._

_“Shut up.” Piers grumbled as he moved into the kitchen to put some space between them. Chris let him have the space and worked on controlling own racing heart and evening out his own breathing. Piers stood in the kitchen back pressed to the pantry door, eyes shut, as Chris stood and moved slowly into the kitchen._

_“We can forget this ever happened. I can leave and we can never speak of this again.”_

_Piers opened his eyes and stared hard at Chris. It was hard enough that Chris could practically see the wheels in his brain turning as he tried to piece together where things should go from here._

_“Look, I remember what it was like to be your age. I did a lot of dumb things, and if people hadn’t waved them off and given me a free pass then I might not be where I am at today.” Chris advised as he leaned against the cabinet next to the sink._

_Before Chris could react, Piers had a fistfull of his shirt and his lips were on his again. The kiss was all tongue and teeth as the smaller male pushed him up against the cabinets as they rattled in protest. Piers leaned into him, tilting his head up just enough to make things a little easier for the aggressive kiss._

_Chris tilted his head down as his arms wrapped back around him again, this time however his hands brushed down Pier’s spine through his shirt and his fingers slipped just under the band of his slacks stroking the skin up and down with slow crooking motions. He let Piers pull back with a grunt as he caught his breath, lower lip trembling as he reached up, pulling Chris’s tie loose and dropping it to the floor._

_Without another word uttered between them, Piers reached up plucking each button loose on his dress shirt, pushing it open to expose Chris’s torso. His lips followed lower and lower as his Captain tensed and shifted under his touch, Chris’s breath starting to come in soft ragged puffs._

_“Piers…” Chris groaned, his head tipping back and hitting the cabinet behind his head, eyes sliding shut. Piers’ hand gently cupped him through his slacks and Chris forgot how to breathe._

_“You’re hard.” Piers whispered, voice a little awed as he stared up at Chris, eyes widening._

_“It’s been awhile since anyone’s gotten so physical with me.” Chris uttered softly._

_“That’s hard to believe. I mean, **look at you**.” Piers ran his hands down Chris’s sides raising goosebumps over his skin as he shivered. Piers pressed in closer effectively wiping any thoughts out of his Captain’s head. _

_“I’m old.” Chris chuckled and winced as Piers pinched him on his right side._

_Hard._

_“Ow!”_

_“You’re hot.” Piers leaned up and kissed him once more._

_Chris made a soft noise at the back of his throat pulling from the kiss. “If I was younger, I’d be head over heels for you right now.”_

_“Oh? And what about now?” Piers let his hand work against the hardness trapped in Chris’s slacks as he brushed his hand up and down gently over the bulge. He kept his eyes trained on Chris’s face, and Chris turned his face to the side so he didn’t have to face the heat of the other’s gaze._

_Piers let his hand tighten and squeeze, twisting his wrist as much as he could as he slid back up. It was a move that made Chris’s hips push into his hand, and Piers chuckled softly. “Piers. Please, wait-“_

_“No. You need this. I want this. Let me do this for you.” Piers spoke, voice firm. He squeezed Chris gently and pressed a kiss to his jaw as his hand continued it’s slow movements on the outside of Chris’s slacks._

_It felt good. Too good to be honest._

_Chris let out a shuddering breath as he watched Piers press kisses to his collar bones and then down his chest and back down, down, down._

_He flinched in surprise when he felt a kiss right over his navel. His cock throbbed through his pants as he listened to slow metallic sound of the zipper being dragged agonizingly slowly down._

_His back arched away from the counter as he felt a damp heat close around his cock in his boxers. Automatically his hand went down and gripped into the short brown hair of his partner, his hips shoved forward and he tried to keep heart from jumping out of his mouth._

_The heat felt too good. His body had missed the slow pulse of pleasure which darted up his spine, up the back of his neck, threatening to bring tears of pleasure to his eyes. It ran circuits around his spine until it was almost too much to bear. “Piers. I-”_

_Piers pulled back just a little, enough to pull his damp boxers down. Chris’s fingers gripped a little tighter as he tugged his fingers through Piers’ hair as he stared up at the ceiling. If he looked right now he really would spill._

_The heat that had once been around his cock indirectly was now covering him without any barriers. It was enough to draw a gasp and low moan from him as he did his best not to thrust into the heat. The tongue that had just been his mouth was moving and lavishing him with a different type of attention. It was enough to have the band of pleasure snap taut and his lower stomach tighten up with each pulse of pleasure._

__It feels too good._ _

_Piers hummed around him, hands brushing up and down his leader’s hips gently for a moment, eyes shut savoring the dampness of Chris’s skin and the tight hold he had in his hair. Everything about this moment was perfect, Chris was perfect. Piers let his hands brush from his hips back around to Chris’s ass gripping and pulling him forward, urging the elder man to move._

_It felt to Chris like all that existed in this moment was Piers, the pleasure of his mouth and lips, and he had captured Chris along for the ride of slowly rolling pleasure. The arousal slowly wound its way around Chris’s head and wrapped around his spine and torso, the ribbon cutting deeper and deeper each and every single time he moved and shifted._

_He wouldn’t last long. Chris **couldn’t** last long. His hips rocked forward and his body was pushed up towards the edge of arousal and pleasure. He couldn’t help it, and couldn’t stop it. Piers had wound him too tight and his body was going to spill over. _

_It happened without warning, Chris’s eyes snapped open and his lips parted as his body went taut and he came **hard**. His vision went hazy and he leaned back hard against the counter, as he came. Piers let his hands brush from his ass, back to Chris’s hips as he coaxed him and held him through it. _

_After several long moments, Chris started to come down, down, down from a high that left him feeling vulnerable, and wrung out. His eyes opened as he felt his legs nearly give out and he caught himself on the counter top by his elbows._

_Piers sat in front of him, cheeks flushed and his eyes half lidded as he wiped a hand over his most cleaning some of the cum from the corner of his mouth. Once Chris was sure the other was out of his way, he let himself slide down to the floor in front of Piers with a soft sigh. Piers slowly crawled into his lap and Chris sat up to meet him part way for a breathless kiss._

_“What now?” The voice that asked that question had been Chris, but his voice was low and raspy and foreign to his own ears._

_“If you don’t have anywhere to go, stay with me tonight.” Piers asked as he kissed the tip of Chris’s nose._

 

\----

 

Chris woke up with a start and stared at the clock on his side table. Through the sleepy haze the clock read 6:30 A.M. His head hurt less, but his body still felt the tell tale sluggishness from all the drinking he had done the night before. As he shifted his body, his leg met someone else’s leg and a sleepy hum came from the bed beside him. 

Shifting closer, Chris rubbed at his eyes and stared at the young man asleep beside him. 

“Piers…” Chris rasped as his the back of his hand brush over his lover’s spine. Piers slept quietly curled up on his side, back away from Chris. He let his fingers explore as he counted silently to himself the bumps he could feel underneath the pale skin. 

Piers squirmed and turned to face him, his eyes slowly opening as he rubbed his arm over his eyes, “Chris? What’s wrong?” 

“Hmm?” Chris murmured reverently as his fingers brushed up his back and over his shoulder. He let the digits stroke over the front of his lover’s neck pressing gently. There was a pulse there, slow and sluggish from sleep but it was there. 

His fingers trailed up the side of his neck and slowly up Pier’s jaw in the darkness as he listened to his partner’s slow breath his fingertips ghosting over his cheek. 

“Are you okay? You were tossing and turning a bit.” Piers asked, voice heavy with sleep as Chris shifted a little closer, his fingers trailing over the other’s lips. Piers kissed them lazily and caused the older man to smile as he leaned forward his lips replacing his fingertips. 

There was no desperation to their kiss. It was just a slow lazy press against each other until Piers finally became a little more playful and alert. The kisses slowly started to morph into eager and quick pecks as Chris was pushed onto his back.

“I had a bad dream, but it’s over now.” 

Chris felt his lover slide onto his waist and back to line their hips up. Piers shook his head and slowly rocked down against him. Chris’ own hands found purchase on Piers narrow hips as the other set a slow pace between them. The room which had been silent just before started to fill with the sounds of their gentle grunting and sighs. 

“Mm.. what was it about?” Piers asked as he punctuated the question with a press of his hips. Chris sucked in a surprised breath, his hands wandering down to his young lover’s backside to push his hips down. Piers groaned and his head lulled down, forehead pressing to Chris’s. 

“You died, and I went crazy. I couldn’t deal with you dying on me. There were so many things we should have talked about, so many things I should have said. Piers I-” Chris ground out as Piers slowly sat up, pausing his hips for a second. 

Hands cupped Chris’s cheeks as Piers leaned down once again and kissed him softly, sweetly, stopping all talk as he leaned back and swiped his tongue over the seam of Chris’s parted lips, dipping inside briefly with his tongue. Chris laid back under him pliant and Piers pressed his hands to his chest. 

“Even if it wasn’t a dream Chris, you’ll be fine.” Piers murmured softly. 

“What do you mean if it wasn’t a dream.” Chris gasped as he felt the other rock his hips more insistently against him. 

“I chose this path, and you chose yours. Even people like Wesker chose the way they lived. I chose to give my life for you. It’s what I wanted to do.” Piers spoke out, his movements becoming quick and sharp bounces instead of the slow languid thrusts. Chris gritted his teeth, his arms wrapping tightly around the moving body over his own. 

“Piers I-” 

“Chris. I know. I knew. Even though we never talked about it much after that day, I always knew. Please don’t blame yourself.” The arousal sparked through him as Chris let his hips meet with Piers as he held onto him so tightly he dug into his skin and made it hard for Piers to move.   
Brushing one of his hands over Chris’s jaw, Piers leaned over and pressed his cheek to Chris’s cheek his lips right near his ear. 

“Chris. Please live. I love you.” 

 

\-----

 

Chris woke up with a gasp his eyes wide as he twitched and shivered. Instantly he felt the uncomfy wetness in his sweats and his head instantly reminded him it probably wasn’t a good idea to move. 

Gentle sunlight had just started to peek into the window from the outside and the chitter of birds finally hit his ears. The room was cold and all he wanted to do was lie there. His body ached in places it shouldn’t have, and his stomach grumbled and twisted inside of his body. He felt sluggish and slow, the dream and thoughts intermingling in his mind and chasing away the dark thoughts of the night. 

Today was another day, and he had been given another chance. Gingerly Chris picked himself up and moved towards his bathroom to start the day. Even if he should have been the one to die, Piers had done his best to keep him alive. Looking at himself in the mirror, Chris sighed and rubbed over the back of his eyes with his wrist. “I’ll keep on this path until I can’t anymore.” 

After all, that’s what it meant to be alive.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I haven't written for this fandom in so long that I was really nervous about doing this. Also the idea I had originally was way longer than this so I shaved it down a bit. I hope you really enjoy this and I hope I did something that you end up liking. Happy Trick or Treat Exchange, yay! \o/


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